How listening to my body stopped me from experiencing a Monty Python skit
– Tasha, a Journey Guide Project Client
Through the Journey Guide experience, I was able to reframe and heal my relationship with a recent fibroid diagnosis. Thankfully this diagnosis was not life-threatening, but with its size of 11cm, there was cause for concern and the very real possibility of surgery. It has been an uncomfortable experience, both physically, emotionally, and financially. It is difficult to be your own advocate when you find yourself faced with a set of health challenges and through my Journey Guide experience I was able to fully process emotionally what my body has been trying to tell me through this diagnosis. I am grateful to have found grounding through the Journey Guide experience.
I now see my fibroid as a teacher, with a message that needs to be acknowledged and embraced, recognized and listened to. A strong message, that I spent my nights and days with - constantly exhausted, fatigued, anemic, and incontinent at times. I didn't start this journey with this sentiment. I started from a place of fear, doubt, anger, frustration, and an attitude of "I am going to fight this, I am going to get rid of this!" I've held onto the idea of my stubbornness as a strength but with the help of my Journey Guide experience I've been able to channel it for the greater good. That stubbornness has been repurposed into curiosity and advocacy for myself. I needed these reframing tools to move through a less-than-ideal medical industry, where my uterus was treated as a part that needed fixing and not a part of my being that needed healing. Two surgical methods were advised and I pursued each as bravely as I could. No matter what consult it happened to be, it was shared that, "I could return to work quickly." and "There is no lifestyle change or natural medicine that could 'shrink' the fibroid to a healthy level."
I would like to point out, I am still grateful to Western medicine for the ability to remove my fibroid through a surgical process. It is not a wrong path, but it isn't the only one. I just don't appreciate the write-off of my body's ability to heal itself and the "0-60 mph" approach to solving a diagnosis. Humorously, I'm reminded of the Monty Python scene in the film, "Meaning of Life" where the mother is being ushered into the delivery room surrounded by doctors and nurses in scrubs and several impressive machines, including one that "goes PING!" She is then asked to continue to lie down, there simply isn't anything for her to do from this point, because she is, "not qualified." As I move to a bird's eye view of the medical system I can see its flaws and that angers me, but I also see the doctors and medical professionals as individuals stuck on this ride with me. And I have compassion for their challenging experience as well.
That unsatisfying experience though led me to explore a naturopathic doctor who was receptive to shared medical decision making and believed it was at least worth some time for "watchful waiting" if I changed my lifestyle through diet, exercise, and a few key supplements. It was also helpful to learn what actually causes a fibroid (at least from the medical standpoint) and that is an overproduction of estrogen. Again, through my Journey Guide experience, I was encouraged to sit with that knowledge and ask myself what I thought that meant, or represented.
I explored that question through a daily practice of bathing in piping hot water. The bath allowing me to represent myself as the fibroid; Nothing like talking to your body when you're sitting there naked! And through those thoughtful baths, I came to know that my body was storing feminine strength within my creative life-giving organ. I was unconsciously denying myself that tender, nurturing, motherly self-care and I metaphorically needed to give birth to it. I've now created new self-care rituals that allow me to speak to my body and show that I am ready to embrace its message.
Through this months-long journey of wellbeing, I have changed my diet to primarily whole foods, adopted a daily afternoon walk outside through the local park, continued the supplement regimen from my naturopath, and stayed in conversation with my body. I am pleased to share that my last ultrasound results showed a decrease in size of over 20% and my symptoms have improved so drastically that I find myself trying to feel for the fibroid when I'm laying down. It is still there, but so much smaller. With these promising results, I am encouraged to keep walking this mind-body-spirit path with curiosity. I am still open to the idea of surgery if I somehow need it one day, but I am more confident that won't be my story.
My Journey Guide experience has allowed me the dignity of exploring my own healing path and has given me the gift of connecting with my body in a powerful way.
– Tasha, a Journey Guide Project Client